Somewhat dated

I read today that the First Presidency has approved a complete overhaul of the Ogden Temple exterior in part because they found its appearance "somewhat dated." I'm going to refrain from the usual cheap jokes about spaceships, inverted lollipops, and the like, because while I admit that the Ogden Temple is notably underwhelming in its downtown context, I have fond feelings for its twin, the Provo Temple, where I was endowed and which I attended pretty much weekly during my last two years at BYU. I felt vaguely robbed, actually, when they painted the Provo Temple steeple white a few years back: to borrow a line from The Birdcage, "Surely one wants a hint of color."

Anyway, after reading the announcement, I felt moved by a satirical spirit to suggest that in addition to the Ogden Temple exterior, there are some other "somewhat dated" things in the church the First Presidency might consider redesigning:

• the male-only priesthood
• seventeenth-century English in the scriptures
• a pre-Darwinian cosmology
• a nineteenth-century persecution complex
• a sectarian insistence on being the one true church
• homophobia/heterosexism
• the persistent assumption that God willed the black priesthood/temple ban
• all-white upper leadership in a majority Latina/o church