Post-election thoughts

I don't feel like fighting.
I don't even feel like "bearing witness against," an activity that normally yields me a lot of satisfaction.

It's not that I'm giving up.
But I want to try some different verbs.

I want to build.
I want to nourish. I want to nourish individuals, relationships, communities.
I want to support.
I want to give.
I want to compassion. That's not a verb, but it needs to be.
I want to stand with.
I want to mourn with.
I want to suffer with. Amend that: I want to have the courage to suffer with.

I want to reason.
I want to persuade.
I want to build on common beliefs.
I want to listen.
I want to go forth. I want to get outside my usual circles.
I want to speak as inspired by the Spirit that teaches to do justly, to judge righteously, and to walk humbly.

I don't want to be naive about this.
I want to be wise as a serpent, harmless as a dove.
I don't want to hide behind pious platitudes.
I understand that this is a call to make myself exposed and vulnerable.

But I don't want to do that under the banner of fighting.
I want to lift up an ensign of peace. I want to figure out what that means in this context.

I think I'm beginning to get an inkling of why someone who preaches "Love your enemy" ends up on a cross. And why it looks like foolishness.

A title of liberty for election 2016

After the 2004 election, another student in my graduate program remarked that she hadn't voted because she "didn't want to be part of the system." My reaction at the time was an exasperated, "Well, thank you for helping to give us four more years of Bush." Which I said to her out loud because I'm a d--k that way.

And now, 12 years later, I find myself wondering if I might sit out this year's election, at least the presidential race. Because as appalled--appalled!!!!--as I am to see the Republican Party reconciling itself to Donald Trump and setting itself the task of pitching him to the nation, and as frightened--frightened!!!!--as I am that he could actually win... I don't like being in the situation of doing what I'm appalled at Republican moderates for doing: i.e., reconciling myself to a presidential candidate I have qualms about because I think that at least that person's better than the other party's candidate.

Not that the situations are equivalent. But they're analogous enough to make me feel icky.

I dunno. Maybe I'll write in a candidate.

Whatever I do, I'm taking the following as my guide for election 2016:

In memory of our God,
our religion,
and our peace.
(Alma 46:12)

The original text also includes "freedom," of course, and I'm in favor of that, too. But that word gets thrown around so much in American political discourse that I'd rather let my attention linger over the other elements of Moroni's slogan.

If I vote, it will be for candidates who I think will advocate policies in line with the values of the God I know and worship.

If I vote, it will be for candidates who I think will advocate policies in line with the values of my religion--the values of Jesus.

If I vote, it will be for candidates who I think will advocate policies that promote peace.

And yeah, I know, I shouldn't expect purity in politics. So yeah, I know, maybe I have to vote for the lesser of two evils. Maybe that's my Christian duty here.

And yeah, I know, this whole "a pox on both your houses" posture I'm articulating right now is annoyingly sanctimonious, because God knows I've found it annoying when I've read it being articulated by other religious commentators in the past. "Look at me, I'm up with God, in transcendent purity, above the fray."

(It's people who like to imagine they're above the fray, able to criticize both sides, who will vote Donald Trump into the White House, if that happens.)

But on the opening night of the Republican national convention, taking place less than a half hour's drive from the Kirtland Temple, this is the state of my thinking.

And I'm praying. I'm praying that my fellow Americans will do what makes for peace. I pray that all those folks out there who talk about wanting America to be a Christian nation will recognize anti-Christ when they see it. I pray that I'll recognize it when I see it. And that I'll know what to do about it in my capacity as a citizen.

For Kate Kelly and all who are heartbroken with her

"Heirs of that heritage"
June 27, 2014

"Behind me is the Red Brick Store, in Nauvoo, Illinois. This is the place where the Relief Society was founded, and where Joseph Smith announced his intention to make that society 'a kingdom of priests.' This building is also the place where, for the first time, Latter-day Saint women were anointed to become 'queens' and 'priestesses' as part of the endowment.

"I'm not convinced that Joseph Smith intended those developments to lead to the ordination of women to priesthood office in the church, because I'm not convinced that Joseph Smith's vision was that progressive at that point in his life. But I do believe that the developments that occurred in this building offer Latter-day Saints windows onto wider possibilities--including the ordination of women, which I, like many of you, believe to be God's will, given the principle that, as we read in the Book of Mormon, male and female are alike to God.

"Kate Kelly's excommunication is a heavy blow to those who have been trying to work for the fulfillment of that wider vision.

"As I stand here in Nauvoo, I am very conscious of the fact that heavy blows, and setbacks, and tragedy, are part and parcel of the Latter-day Saint heritage. Here in Nauvoo, dreams and hopes were shattered. Our people became divided. Church members felt betrayed by church leaders. Nauvoo was a place of violence, and destruction, and loss, and grief.

"In Tony Kushner's play, Angels in America, Harper, a Mormon woman who has been betrayed by someone she loves, says near the end of the play: 'I've finally found the secret of all that Mormon energy. Devastation. That's what makes people migrate, build things. Heartbroken people do it...'

"Nauvoo is a witness to the heartbreak that has been part of Latter-day Saint history from the beginning. Nauvoo is also a witness to what heartbroken people can accomplish. Kate Kelly and all those who are heartbroken with her are heirs of that heritage."

For John Dehlin, from Joseph Smith's gravesite

June 26, 2014

"This video is a message for John Dehlin.

"A couple of weeks ago, John, you posted to Facebook a quotation from Joseph Smith that spoke to you after the announcement of your impending church disciplinary council. It was the quotation in which Joseph Smith says that he is dismayed to see a church member called up before a church court over questions of doctrine because, Joseph says, that seems like something that the Methodists would do.

"Now, before I say what I’m here to say, I feel a fastidious professorial need to qualify things by pointing out that while that particular quotation from Joseph Smith makes him sound supportive of freedom of thought within the church, Joseph could also be, let’s say, firm about condemning what he regarded as apostasy in the church—so I’m not certain that Joseph Smith would have positively regarded you (or me, for that matter).

"But with that fastidious caveat, I can certainly understand, John, why those particular words of Joseph Smith spoke to you in your current circumstances. And so I’m pleased to say that I am standing here with the man who spoke those words. I am standing at the gravesite of Joseph Smith—in Nauvoo, Illinois, the place where Joseph spoke those words that had inspired you. And I would like to say to you, in his presence, that I agree with you, John, that those particular words of Joseph Smith’s represent the better part of his legacy, a legacy that you and many others in the bloggernacle are helping to carry forward into the 21st century—a legacy of expansiveness, of creative initiative, of continual searching, exploring ideas, seeking truth wherever it may be found, envisioning new possibilities.

"I have extremely mixed feelings about this man. But to the extent that I believe he deserves to be honored, I think that the work you have been doing with Mormon Stories honors him. And so I hope you will continue that work, regardless of the outcome of your upcoming meeting with your stake president.

"Joseph Smith is dead. But I hope that the best parts of his legacy will live on and flourish. My thoughts are with you, John. God bless."

Sacred Grove, 6/21/14

“I am sitting in the Sacred Grove, in Palmyra, New York (where there are many mosquitos, which I am going to do my best to ignore). Somewhere in this wooded area, the story goes, a confused teenager came to pray, in the faith that God would provide an answer to his confusion. And according to the story, God did, although the answer was not one that the teenager had anticipated. Furthermore, the story continues, the teenager discovered that not everyone approved of the answer he believed he had received; some people, in fact, were very emphatic about expressing their disagreement.

“As I sit here remembering that story, I am mindful of the ongoing controversy around Kate Kelly and John Dehlin. And I’m mindful, especially, of individuals for whom that controversy may be occasioning a crisis of faith or identity—people who may be wondering if there is a place for them in the LDS Church; and if not, where do they go from here?

“For what it may be worth, I would like to reach out to people in that situation by offering my testimony of the principle taught by the story of the Sacred Grove. At the end of the story as told in the Pearl of Great Price, Joseph Smith draws an explicit moral from the story, which is, he says, that anyone who lacks wisdom can ask of God and receive. I would like to add my witness to that affirmation, based on my own life’s experience.

“When push comes to shove, every one of us has to decide for ourselves what to believe, or who to believe, or who to follow, or who to stand with, who to trust. We have to make that decision for ourselves; but as we make that choice, we can receive guidance from God through personal revelation. That guidance may not come on the timetable that we would like. It may not come in the ways we would have expected. The answer might not be what we had hoped for. Our understanding of the answer might evolve over time as we learn by experience and grow in further light and knowledge. Living in keeping with the answer we receive may be difficult. It may seriously disrupt our status quo. It may strain our relationships with people we love who cannot accept the answer that we believe we have received, and who may urge us not to trust our personal revelation.

“Seeking your answer, and living your answer, can feel very lonely. But the good news is that we are never actually alone. The scriptures promise us that everyone who asks will receive. Everyone who seeks will find. Everyone who knocks… will have a door opened to them, even if it wasn’t the door you had hoped for. I have faith in that promise because I believe I have seen it fulfilled in my own life.

“That is my testimony from the Sacred Grove. May God be with you—God will be with you—as you seek answers in your own Sacred Grove. In Christ’s name, amen.”

We Limit Not the Truth of God

Yesterday I was looking through Community of Christ's new hymnal, Community of Christ Sings. They have several hymns on the theme of Continuing Revelation. One of these spoke to me particularly powerfully in light of the ongoing controversy around Ordain Women.

Here are the words. The tune to which the words are matched in Community of Christ Sings doesn't appear in the 1985 LDS hymnal, Hymns; but it could be sung to the tune that accompanies "Let Zion in Her Beauty Rise" (Hymns, #41).  

"We Limit Not the Truth of God" (Community of Christ Sings, #69)
Words by George Rawson (1807-1889)

We limit not the truth of God
to our poor reach of mind
by notions of our day and sect,
crude, partial, and confined.
No, let a new and better hope
within our hearts be stirred--
the Lord hath yet more light and truth
to break forth from his word.

Who dares to bind to their dull sense
the oracles of heav'n
for all the nations, tongues, and climes,
and all the ages giv'n?
That universe, how much unknown!
That ocean unexplored!
The Lord hath yet more light and truth
to break forth from his word.

O Father, Son, and Spirit, send
us increase from above;
enlarge, expand all Christian souls
to comprehend thy love,
and make us all go on to know,
with nobler pow'rs conferred,
the Lord hath yet more light and truth
to break forth from his word.

A prayer for Kate and John

The cynical, embittered pessimist in me watches the unfolding events with resignation and even, I shamefully confess, a taste of Schadenfreude. ("You see--I told you.") This video comes from a different part of me.



"Behind me is the Kirtland Temple. When this temple was dedicated in 1836, Joseph Smith prayed that the Saints would be empowered, through the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, to go forth and do God's work in the world. He prayed that as they did this, prejudices against them would be swept away, and that the hearts of those who opposed them would be softened. [D&C 109:56.]

"Tonight that is my prayer on behalf of Kate Kelly and John Dehlin. For Kate, and John, and all those who are in mourning because of the actions being taken against Kate and John, I pray in words adapted from words that were used at the dedication of this temple:

Holy One--
May your name be upon them.
May your glory be round about them.
May your angels have charge over them. [D&C 109:22]
Remember all your church, O Lord. [D&C 109:72]
Amen."

For Kate and John: Let the caravan move on

I just saw the news about Kate Kelly's and John Dehlin's impending disciplinary councils: Two Activists Within Mormon Church Threatened with Excommunication (New York Times). As an excommunicant myself, I'd like to offer the following to Kate and John and their supporters:

I remember how it felt to be contacted--out of the blue--by the local church leadership. Even though I'd always figured that moment was likely to come someday, it was more distressing than I had expected. I felt targeted. I suspected right away that this action was being directed from higher up; and when talking to the stake president first bolstered, then outright confirmed, those suspicions, that revelation intensified the feeling that I was being secretly monitored from afar by some shadowy presence who wanted to get me "under control." "Threatened" (as the New York Times headline puts it) is a good description of what it felt like.

Excommunication is an institution speaking in the name of an entire faith community to say, "We disown you." And even though I had mentally disowned that institution long before (my relationship was, and is, with the Mormon tradition, not with the LDS Church), it's still intimidating when the institution's representatives turn up to declare their intention to formally cut you off. (Linger on that metaphor.) Kate and John appear to feel more invested in the institution than I did at that point, which must make the experience more painful.

Excommunication serves as a kind of smear campaign. Because the institution won't go on record explaining why they disowned you--apart from deliberately vague generalities like "apostasy" or "conduct unbecoming a member of the church"--the LDS faithful are free to cast doubt on whatever you say about what happened and what you did or did not do to "deserve" this action. If your supporters try to give you the halo of martyrdom, suave apologists like Terryl Givens can say, as he said about excommunicated intellectuals for the PBS special The Mormons: Well, you know, since the church can't comment, we're only hearing one side of the story... At which point, the faithful can imagine whatever they want about why you were "really" excommunicated. Maybe it wasn't just because of your podcasts or your public questioning of church policy. Maybe church leaders knew there was something going on in your private life. Maybe that something else--some secret sin you felt a need to rationalize--is the real reason you questioned church teachings... And then they can feel that much more justified in ignoring whatever issues you were trying to raise.

It's a nasty business. I'm scoffing bitterly: Just a day or two ago, inveterate optimists like John Gustav-Wrathall and Joanna Brooks were gushing about the Mormon Tabernacle Choir having sung "Somewhere over the Rainbow" on the same Sunday that gay pride was being celebrated in Salt Lake City... grasping, as they do, for signs that the church is changing, reasons for hope. And now--the same old same-old. We don't know, of course, what's going on behind the scenes. We don't know which individuals at church headquarters may be responsible for these disciplinary councils going forward; we don't know which other individuals at headquarters may have favored a different approach. Maybe the relatively more progressive-leaning folks, or at least more image-conscious folks, will manage to work behind the scenes to get these disciplinary councils indefinitely postponed. But what's happening right now makes clear that the old guard are still on duty.

If any of you out there are surprised by this turn of events--I'm sorry, but you need to get wise. You can't assume good faith on the part of church leadership; you have to always assume that at least some of them are working to figure out how to stab you in the back. If you can't assimilate that picture of church leadership into your worldview--then it's only a matter of time before you get struck on the head by a rock you had no idea someone was getting ready to throw at you.

Okay, I hadn't intended to get that bitter. Let me try to be more... pastoral.

First, to Kate and John: Unsolicited advice from someone whose been in your shoes. Your top priority right now is figuring out how to respond to the disciplinary council in a way that will leave you feeling, at the end, that you have acted with integrity, that you have acted in a way that is spiritually healthy for you, that you have been proactive rather than simply reactive, and that you have no lingering regrets about the way in which you have brought closure to your formal church membership--and you should assume that excommunication will be the outcome. I would urge you not to let your role as public figures play any consideration in how you go about doing those things. This moment is about what you need to do for yourself--period.

Second, to Kate and John and their supporters: These excommunications--if they happen, which, again, you should assume they will--should make no difference whatsoever in how you go about doing your work. Don't let a change in Kate's or John's membership status change anything else. Just go on doing what you've been doing. To paraphrase a famous metaphor of Bruce R. McConkie's: Let the dogs snap at your heels; the caravan moves on. Mormon Stories moves on. Ordain Women moves on. In Christ's name, amen.

10/13/1993 - The end of the mission

Twenty years ago today was my last proselytizing day as an LDS missionary. On Oct. 14, I was taken to the mission home, and the day after that, I was handed over to my parents, who had come down to the Dominican Republic to pick me up.

When I started this "looking back 20 years" series of what were supposed to be monthly posts, I was hoping to reconnect with the Dominican Republic--the contemporary Dominican Republic, not my nostalgic memories of the Dominican Republic. I wanted to do that out of a sense of guilt. Guilt that I connected with all these people, I lived in this country, this culture, and the experience impacted me very deeply, at least I feel like it did--but at the end of the day, was that just a kind of extended spiritual tourism? Was it ultimately an exercise in narcissism posing as concern for people in the Third World?

Yeah. Yeah it was. I mean, it may not have been exclusively that; I trust--I have to trust--that there are redeeming or redeemable aspects to the experience. But, yeah. It was very much about me, and the connections I've continued to feel for the Dominican Republic are very much about me. That's why in the end, this series petered out. My spiritual engagement ended up flowing in other directions over these past couple of years, and the Dominican experience stopped being so meaningful.

This is not good. This is very icky. I am not proud of myself in this moment.

And that's the end of my 20th-anniversary series of mission reflections. S**t.

Other posts in this series: 
5/12/1993 - Safety in the Dominican Republic
4/7/1993 - Alma Rosa
2/3/1993 - Ensanche Espaillat
9/30/1992 - La Milagrosa
8/12/1992 - A year after the call
7/1/1992 - FEDOPO
5/6/1992 - Guaricano
4/1/1992 - First day in Guaricano
2/5/1992 - The Zona Franca
12/4/1991 - La Romana
11/6/1991 - My first day in the Dominican Republic
10/9/1991 - Entered the MTC
9/4/1991 - Waiting to serve
8/1/1991 - Mission call

Sacred Grove

My 20-year anniversary missionary posts are shot to heck. There's really only a couple months left in which to do any. My spiritual life has moved into a different channel. I would like to do one or two more posts in that series, though.

Today, though, I want to talk about a visit I made last month to the Sacred Grove. My husband and I spent the Fourth of July week in Cleveland, partly so I could make a presentation to the Community of Christ interns at the Kirtland Temple visitors center. While we were in the vicinity, we took a day trip out to Palmyra, something we've been talking about for years, even since we came back east so I could return to grad school. I haven't been to Palmyra since I was a toddler.

The weather was wretched, although in a way I guess that was a blessing because it meant I basically had the Sacred Grove to myself. No one else wanted to be out there in the pouring rain.

I appreciate how the grove is being managed: limited, low-key interpretative apparatus, a wonderfully extensive trail system so that even if there were lots of visitors, I imagine you could achieve some privacy.

I walked back for a good long ways until I found a spot that felt right for no particular reason, and then I paced for a while talking out loud to God. I had this feeling of having arrived at the place of origin, a place where the Presence is specially concentrated. I didn't have Eliade on the brain at that particular moment, but yes, we're talking hierophany here.

But I was also aware that I was standing in a mythic place of origin. This is the place where the story begins--and yet it's not. That paradox is true in a couple of different senses.

One: It's not really the place of origin because the story we tell about this place of origin probably didn't happen the way we tell it. Anyone who saw or heard the "Diagnosing the Seer" session I did at Salt Lake Sunstone last year, with Mark Thomas and Dan Vogel, on the historicity of the 1838 First Vision account knows that I voted gray or black on all the propositions we discussed. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to make my pilgrimage to this place. It doesn't stop me from experiencing the heightened Presence.

Two: It's not really the place of origin because even if the story were strictly historical, the site has changed since the 1820s. This is the insight that struck me during my trip last month, as I was pacing, looking up through the trees, getting drenched in the rain. My understanding is that site that is preserved as the "Sacred Grove" encompasses more than the original Smith property, ergo more than the original grove. Whether I'm understanding that correctly or not, the fact remains that the site I'm seeing now is not the site Joseph Smith prayed in. They're not the same trees. These trails weren't here. Who knows how else the landscape has been altered.

So it's the Sacred Grove, but the Sacred Grove has changed. It's not what it was in 1820. It has evolved into something different. But we still call it the Sacred Grove.

When that thought came to me in the grove, I also thought: That's an apt metaphor for my own Mormon identity. It has evolved into something different from what it was. But it's still Mormon.

5/12/1993 - Safety in the Dominican Republic

This post is part of an ongoing series in which I "look in" on the contemporary Dominican Republic while "looking back" at my mission there twenty years ago. Today, I feel inspired to write about safety in the DR.

Shortly after I arrived in the DR as a missionary, another missionary showed me a document which had been provided to the missionaries by the U.S. embassy around the time of the Gulf War (which preceded my mission by several months). I don't remember if the mission president had solicited this document or if the embassy had proffered it. It was a basically a guide on what to do if you're kidnapped. The advice I still remember is: Your best chance for escape is when they're first nabbing you; you need to psychologically prepare yourself for a long captivity; and you should press your captors to improve your conditions by demanding things like toilet paper and books.

The document made such an impression on me that I became paranoid when my trainer and I were approached by a young man who was very keen to have us come to his house but didn't want to be seen talking to us on the street. As it turned out, he did have nefarious intentions, but of a more mundane kind: he feigned a desire to convert in the hope of fleecing us of things like tennis shoes--at which he succeeded; I wasn't sufficiently paranoid on that count.

Once I got acclimated, I felt quite safe as a missionary in the DR. During the Gulf War, a missionary had been the victim of a drive-by shooting, apparently motivated by anti-American sentiment (he survived largely unscathed; his temple garments took the credit). But that incident was anomalous. People regularly shouted "CIA" to us on the streets, but I understood it more as a taunt than a threat. Missionaries, the North Americans especially, were natural targets of petty crime: missionaries liked to swap stories about the ingenious ways people made off with their watches in the streets, that kind of thing. I had my bike stolen several months into my mission while I was inside an investigator's house one night--the horrific aftermath of which is that the police carted off a Haitian neighbor of the investigator, who I also knew, and beat him to try to force a confession. I'm not up to reliving that memory right now; but there's a moral there about safety and vulnerability for different kinds of foreign nationals in the Dominican Republic.

The DR didn't feel unsafe to me until the very end of my mission, when my parents came down to pick me up. We were walking at night to our hotel in a touristy area, when a man began approaching us, pulling a coiled wire out from under his shirt as he did so. My petite, iron-willed mother glared at the man, grabbed my hand and my father's, and pulled us across the street. It was a very unnerving experience, and it suddenly made the DR feel less like home to me than it had. I had been moving blithely through this country, feeling like I belonged; suddenly I felt foreign and targeted.

In 1997, when I was back in the DR working with a Catholic program, I visited Guaricano, which had been my favorite proselyting area. I learned that while LDS missionaries still worked there, they no longer lived there. The area had been ruled to unsafe to live after burglars broke into the elders' home one night and assaulted them. In 2000, I returned to the DR again looking for a job teaching English. While there, I heard chilling stories about American teachers--women, in these stories--being picked up by fake taxis full of thieves posing as passengers, forced to use ATM cards to empty their bank accounts, and in one case killed. During that same trip, I got into such a taxi and had my pocket picked. A good Samaritan found my discarded wallet later that day, found inside the phone number of the house where I was staying, and called. My Dominican hosts feared that the caller was actually one of the thieves trying to lure me into . . . a further assault or a kidnapping, I guess. A stake high councilman and his wife drove me over to the caller's home, who turned out to be legit; in fact, the high councilman ended up trying to turn the encounter into a missionary referral.

I was just looking at the U.S. State Department's travel advisory page for the DR. They make it sound pretty scary, though there's reassuring perspective in their statement that "the dangers present in the Dominican Republic are similar to those of many major U.S. cities."

I can't end a reflection on safety in the DR without remembering . . . well, let's call her Guadi, a young mother living in the area where I was working on this day 20 years ago, whose musician husband was often away working a gig on the other end of the island. One night she was awakened at knifepoint by a thief who had broken into the house. Several days later, she saw the thief walking past their home; fortunately, her husband was home at the time, and he confronted the thief, which led to his arrest. I'm proud of the way ward members pulled together for her, spending the night with her when her husband had to go away again. My companion and I met with her one evening, when she was plainly under a lot of stress. We got the kids off in a corner playing with magnets, we three adults sat down to talk, she vented for a long while, my companion and I listened, the three of us sang "Abide with Me," we prayed. It's one of the spiritual highlights of my mission.

I thank God that I was safe during my time in the DR. I pray for the safety of the people I know who are living there now--Dominicans and Haitians and North Americans. Especially women.

Other posts in this series: 
4/7/1993 - Alma Rosa
2/3/1993 - Ensanche Espaillat
9/30/1992 - La Milagrosa
8/12/1992 - A year after the call
7/1/1992 - FEDOPO
5/6/1992 - Guaricano
4/1/1992 - First day in Guaricano
2/5/1992 - The Zona Franca
12/4/1991 - La Romana
11/6/1991 - My first day in the Dominican Republic
10/9/1991 - Entered the MTC
9/4/1991 - Waiting to serve
8/1/1991 - Mission call

4/7/1993 - Alma Rosa

Twenty years ago today, I was a missionary in Santo Domingo, a couple weeks into a new proselyting area--which turned out to be my last proselyting area. I spent six months here, an unusually long time by the norms of my mission. At the time, I interpreted that as a vote of confidence from the mission president: i.e., he trusted me to be diligent and persistent enough to keep building up the work in this area without getting bored and antsy to go somewhere else. But, um, who knows what his motive was. (Pessimistic speculation: Maybe it was the mission president's strategy for keeping me somewhere he thought I couldn't do too much damage.)

Anyway, Alma Rosa was the name of the area--Alma Rosa I, officially. Alma Rosa II was the next barrio eastward; the city was expanding in that direction. My companion and I lived in Alma Rosa II, but we worked and attended church in Alma Rosa I. The chapel we attended was the same one I had attended in late 1992-early 1993, while I was working in La Milagrosa, a neighborhood just northwest of Alma Rosa. In other words, I was in familiar territory.

In the map below, Alma Rosa is the area shaded green. La Milagrosa, where I'd served in late 1992-early 1993, is shaded pink. (In retrospect, I should have assigned the colors the other way around: Alma Rosa means "Pink Soul." I have no idea why that name.) The chapel in the center of the map, in Alma Rosa, is where our ward met. The chapel near the southwest corner of the map is where we attended zone conferences. The chapel toward the east edge of the map was where the missionaries in my district held our weekly meetings. Ah, yes: I was district leader while I was in Alma Rosa. A long awaited feather in my cap.

The blue circle on the map indicates the approximate location where I lived while I was working in Alma Rosa. The green circle indicates the street where the first YouTube video below was filmed. The red circle indicates where I suspect the second YouTube video was filmed, a judgment I make based on the lack of vegetation. The northern "triangle" of Alma Rosa was a relatively poorer area. The middle section (moving south) was where the most affluent housing was, although rich houses behind walls could exist literally side-by-side with tin shacks. The southernmost stretch of the neighborhood, parallel to the highway, had big apartment complexes that I have in my head were government projects.

I am proud to say that over the course of six months in Alma Rosa, I systematically tracted out--i.e., knocked doors on--every street in that barrio. We didn't just tract, of course; but tracting was what we always did when we had nothing else to do; I insisted on that as a matter of discipline. I might not pursue that same course if I could do things over, but I was proud of it then because the alternative would have been killing time while fooling ourselves that we were being productive. Six months and a few companions later, I'd worked through every street and started over. At a couple houses, people asked, "Weren't you just here?" Nope, that was six months ago. I've been keeping track.

About the videos:

1. This short rooftop look-about shows a stretch of Alma Rosa that has been "developed up" more than I remember it as being twenty years ago. That is, I don't remember there being so many multi-floor apartment buildings.


2. This will be boring for anyone except a fellow Alma Rosa alum. I'm intrigued by the number of young people who have electronic devices--smart phones, whatever these things are called. (I don't keep up with technology.)


Other posts in this series: 
2/3/1993 - Ensanche Espaillat
9/30/1992 - La Milagrosa
8/12/1992 - A year after the call
7/1/1992 - FEDOPO
5/6/1992 - Guaricano
4/1/1992 - First day in Guaricano
2/5/1992 - The Zona Franca
12/4/1991 - La Romana
11/6/1991 - My first day in the Dominican Republic
10/9/1991 - Entered the MTC
9/4/1991 - Waiting to serve
8/1/1991 - Mission call

2/3/1993 - Ensanche Espaillat

Twenty years ago today, I was working in Ensanche Espaillat, my fourth missionary area. I only spent a couple of months here--the shortest time I spent assigned to any area. Espaillat is a small rectangular-shaped neighborhood, about a ten minutes walk across in the narrower direction, about fifteen minutes in the longer direction. Our proselyting area extended beyond Espaillat proper (which ended at the cloverleaf) down to the river. That neighborhood was called Gualey; it was a substantially poorer neighborhood and was considered dangerous. We weren't supposed to go there by night, though there were a couple of members we visited fairly regularly there by day.

 
1. The missionaries' apartment. We shared with the companionship who worked in the area just southeast of us.

2. The street in Gualey where a couple of members and an investigator lived. I arrived just after Espaillat had been broken off from the adjacent ward to become its own branch. That decision had been made based on our having about 200 members on the records; 11 adults were active on a weekly basis. But church leadership in the DR really wanted a temple, and multiplying units was the way to get it.

3. La Escuela / Liceo Republica de Colombia. A public elementary school where my companion and I went once a week to volunteer as assistants for one of the teachers. Probably the most meaningful community service (meaningful for me, anyway) I did during my time as a missionary.

4. The meetinghouse attended by our branch, as well as by the ward from whom we had been broken off. There was conflict between the (mostly American) missionaries and the local leadership, centered in the ward but spilling over into my branch as well. It reached a heady adrenaline-laced crisis when our (American) mission president demanded that the (Dominican) stake president put a stop to certain prayer meetings being held by the priesthood leaders in our ward and branch, which our mission president (and the missionaries) regarded as apostate. I feel very differently about this incident now than I did at the time; I should blog about it, maybe next month.

5. According to the church's online meetinghouse finder, there's now a meetinghouse here, though it wasn't there when I served.

This is fun: Searching for information about Ensanche Espaillat online, I quickly discovered the blog of a neighborhood organization, Amigos y Vecinos Ensanche Espaillat. It looks like they hold block parties and do raffles; they post announcements of residents' deaths and marriages. I found one post featuring photos of the "ausentes de Espaillat"--former residents sending greetings back from New Jersey or Florida. Thumbs up for civil society!

One post provided the following government statistics about Ensanche Espaillat: There are 4,000 dwellings in the neighborhood (not counting Gualey), and nearly 16,000 people living there! That figure blows my mind, to the point where I'm dubious--but Espaillat was a densely inhabited neighborhood, even 20 years ago. Unemployment is at a relatively low 7 percent. A little under 3,400 women in the neighborhood are reported as being "amas de casa" [homemakers]; the blogger juxtaposes that statistic with the fact that there are only 96 "empleadas domesticas" [domestic employees, female] to remark that "el barrio tiene verdaderas amas de casa" [the neighborhood has true homemakers]--which I take is meant as a commendation for the women who do their own cooking, cleaning, and washing instead of hiring someone to do it. Had this census been taken 20 years ago, the missionaries' maid would presumably have been one of those 96 empleadas domesticas. She would not have qualified, apparently, as a true homemaker even though she was actually running two households--ours, plus her own.

Other posts in this series: 
9/30/1992 - La Milagrosa
8/12/1992 - A year after the call
7/1/1992 - FEDOPO
5/6/1992 - Guaricano
4/1/1992 - First day in Guaricano
2/5/1992 - The Zona Franca
12/4/1991 - La Romana
11/6/1991 - My first day in the Dominican Republic
10/9/1991 - Entered the MTC
9/4/1991 - Waiting to serve
8/1/1991 - Mission call

Spiral creche

As today is Epiphany, Christmas is liturgically over, so I'm taking down all the Christmas decorations (minus the colored lights, which I'll leave up to help make the dark winter more cheery).

Every year I try to do something different with the creche. This year, I arranged the figures in a double spiral being drawn in toward the center, which until December 24 was empty but was then occupied by the baby Jesus.

As of New Year's, I reversed all the figures so that they were moving away from the center, back out into the world.

Amahl and the Night Visitors

In observance of Christmas, I'm doing a "nostalgia post." Back in 1985 and 1986, I sang the role of Amahl and Gian Carlo Menotti's light Christmas opera, Amahl and the Night Visitors, for Opera West, a shoestring opera company headquartered in the Utah County area. It's an experience I look back on each Christmas very fondly. I have especially fond memories of 1986, when we went on tour to out-of-the-way places like Arco, Idaho, and Vernal, Utah. I'm sure this will be "old hat" for people who do dramatic performance, but the bonding within the troupe as we toured was an unusual experience for me (loner by temperament), and one that I think of as having spiritual dimensions, in part because of the religious themes of the performance.

This year, I tried Googling and Facebooking the major cast members to see if I could find out what they're up to now, almost 30 years later. I found rather less information than I'd hoped for, but it seems that the young man who played Balthazar, Michael Wadsworth, went on to have a singing career with some national recognition. I really wish I could have found out something about Donna Wellman, who played my mother. I learned a little about her past--she'd been singing that role for several years--but couldn't find anything about her more recent life. I'm guessing that Gene Larsson, who ran Opera West and sang the role of Melchior in 1986, has since died. (Forgive me, Gene, if you're alive and reading this!) Director Jerry Elison is still a prominent and beloved figure in the Utah County performing arts scene.

Here's a clip of my favorite aria from Amahl. It's not my troupe's performance--I don't have a DVD rip of that, unfortunately.

New blog for CofC worship resources

About 6 months ago, I started doing weekly posts of worship resources for Community of Christ congregations. From here on out, I'll be posting those resources to a new blog:

thefarthesthills.wordpress.com 

Because of that shift, I anticipate that I'll be posting much less often to Liberal Mormon Spirituality, although I'm not retiring the blog altogether. (For instance, I want to finish up the 20th-anniversary series of reflections related to my mission in the Dominican Republic.)

Rejoice!

Some worship resources designed as options for December 23, the fourth and final Sunday of Advent. Scroll down to find:

• Focus Moment: Mosiah 1:93-97
• “Second Witness” Scripture Readings: 3 Nephi 1:12-14 or Alma 12:150-154, 169-171
• Disciples’ Generous Response: Hebrews 10:5-10

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FOCUS MOMENT

Excerpted from Mosiah 1:93-97

This passage from the Book of Mormon is thematically appropriate for the Candle of Joy.

Contemporary language:

A messenger from God said to me: “Wake up!”

I woke up and saw the messenger standing in front of me.

The messenger said:

“I have come to share with you glad tidings of great joy,

so that you may rejoice

and may share them in turn with your people,

so that they too may be filled with joy.

“These are the glad tidings:

The time is coming—it is not far off!—

when the All-powerful Ruler,

the Immortal One,*

will come down from heaven,

and will live among human beings

in a body made from the dust.”**

* Or: who always has been and always will be

** Or: in a body of clay

Traditional language (lightly updated):

An angel from God said to me: “Awake.”

I awoke, and he stood before me.

He said to me:

“I am come to declare to you glad tidings of great joy,

that you may rejoice,

and that you may declare to your people

that they may also be filled with joy.

“For the time comes, and is not far distant,

that with power, the Lord Omnipotent who reigns,

who was and is from all eternity to all eternity,

will come down from heaven

among the human family*

and will dwell in a tabernacle of clay.”

* Original language: among the children of men. The substituted phrase, “human family” is taken from Mormon 2:86.

****************************************

“SECOND WITNESS” SCRIPTURE READINGS

With sermon helps

Either of these passages might be read alongside the recommended preaching text from the lectionary, Luke 1:39-45, in the “second witness” style. For an example of that style, see this post.

Option A. Excerpted from 3 Nephi 1:12-14

Sermon help: In the lectionary reading from Luke, Mary and Elizabeth rejoice in knowing that the long-awaited promise of God’s salvation is being fulfilled. Likewise, in the following reading from the Book of Mormon, Nephi is encouraged to rejoice in Christ’s birth as a sign that God’s promises will be fulfilled.

Contemporary language:

Nephi heard the Lord’s voice say to him:

“Look up! Cheer up!*

The time has come—

this very night, the sign will be given.

“Tomorrow** I will come into the world

to show the world

that I will keep every promise

I have made through the prophets.

“I am coming to my people***

to carry out the plan that I have been revealing

since the beginning of the world.”

* Or: Do not hang your head! Take heart!

** Or: In the morning

*** Or: I am coming into the world I created

Traditional language (lightly updated):

The voice of the Lord came to Nephi, saying:

“Lift up your head and be of good cheer,

for the time is at hand,

and on this night will the sign be given.

“On the morrow I come into the world

to show the world

that I will fulfill all that I have caused to be spoken

by the mouth of my holy prophets.

“I come to my own

to fulfill all things that I have made known

from the foundation of the world.”

Option B. Excerpted from Alma 12:150-154, 169-171

Sermon help: The online sermon help for the lectionary reading explains that “Luke provides an interesting insight into the leveling, or equalizing power of the mission of Jesus Christ by using women as prophetic witnesses.” The following story from the Book of Alma likewise places two women in a prominent role as witnesses of God’s saving work in Christ. Like Mary and Elizabeth, Abish is a person considered to be of less importance in her society—a servant, an ordinary person who nevertheless recognizes that she has a mission to fulfill for God.

Contemporary language:

One of the Lamanite women, named Abish,

had converted to the Lord many years before,

in secret.

When she saw that Lamoni’s servants,

and the queen—her mistress—

and the king, and Ammon,

had all fallen to the ground while praying, as if they had fainted,

she realized that this was God’s power at work.

So she ran from house to house,

telling the people what had happened;

and they began to gather in the king’s house.

Then Abish went and took the queen’s hand,

as if to try to lift her from the ground.

As soon as Abish touched her hand,

the queen regained consciousness and stood up.

She exclaimed:

“O blessed Jesus, who has delivered* me!

O blessed God, show your compassion to this people!”

Then she clapped her hands together for joy

and spoke many words in a language that no one could understand.

* Or: rescued

Traditional language (lightly updated):

One of the Lamanitish women, whose name was Abish,

[had] been converted to the Lord for many years

[but] never had made it known.

When she saw that all of Lamoni’s servants,

and also her mistress, the queen,

and the king, and Ammon,

lay prostrate on the earth,

she knew that it was the power of God.

Therefore she ran forth from house to house

making it known to the people,

and they began to assemble to the house of the king.

[Then Abish] went and took the queen by the hand,

that perhaps she might raise her from the ground;

and as soon as [Abish] touched her hand,

[the queen] arose and stood on her feet

and cried:

“O blessed Jesus, who has saved me!

O blessed God, have mercy on this people!”

When she had said this,

she clapped her hands, being filled with joy,

speaking many words which were not understood.

****************************************

DISCIPLES’ GENEROUS RESPONSE

Based on Hebrews 10:5–10

Readers 1 and 2 take up positions in front of the congregation.

Reader 1:

A reading from the Letter to the Hebrews.

Reader 2:

When Christ came into the world,

this brought to pass the scripture that says:

Reader 1:

“You do not want sacrifices of animals or offerings of grain.

Daily sacrifices and sacrifices for purification mean nothing to you.

You have given me, rather, a body with which to serve you.

Therefore I say: See, God—I have come to do your will!”     [Psalm 40:7-8]

All:  God—we have come to do your will!

Reader 2:

When the scripture says

that God does not want animal sacrifices,

or grain offerings,

or daily sacrifices,

or sacrifices for purification—

this is referring to the sacrifices

that are commanded in the Law revealed to Moses.

All: God—if you do not want these sacrifices,

        what do you want from us?

Reader 1:

The scripture then adds,

“See, God—I have come to do your will!”

These words are telling us

that Christ came to end the Law and its sacrifices

in order to do the will of God.

All: And what is your will, God?

Reader 2:   [slowly and emphatically]

The will of God is this:

that we be made holy,

once and for all,

through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ’s body.

Reader 1:   [after a short pause]

Here ends the reading.

Readers 1 and 2 return to their places in the congregation. There is a short pause. Then Reader 3 speaks up from within the congregation.

Reader 3:

Jesus Christ,

through the gift of your body,

you have made us a holy people—

a people consecrated* to God’s service.          * or: dedicated

Therefore, we offer you

our whole selves as a gift.

Allow a few minutes of silence for prayerful reflection. The silence is followed by the Blessing and Receiving of Mission Tithes.

God Is among You

A number of worship resources designed as options for December 16, the third Sunday of Advent. Scroll down to find:

• Confession – Luke 3:7-16
• Focus Moment – 3 Nephi 1:13-14 or 1 Nephi 3:46-65
• “Second Witness” Scripture Reading – D&C 108: 5g, 9d-10b
• Disciples’ Generous Response – Philippians 4:4-6
• Sending Forth – Philippians 4:4-5, 7 or D&C 161:7

****************************************

CONFESSION

Based on Luke 3:7-16

Reader 1:
Crowds came to John to be baptized by him. 
He said to them:

Reader 2 / John:

If you wish to escape the coming judgment,

bring forth the fruits of a changed life.

Even now, the ax is in place,

ready to strike at the roots of the trees.

Every tree that does not bring forth good fruit

will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

All: Lord, we hear your prophet’s words.

        What must we do?

        Tell us how to change our lives.

Reader 2 / John:

Everyone who has two coats

must give one of them to someone who has no coat.

Everyone who has food

must do the same.

                                                   

All: Lord, we hear you.

        We will share what we have with others.

Reader 1:
Some of those who came to be baptized
were tax-collectors and soldiers—

[people who worked for the imperial government].*
They asked John: “What of us? What must we do?” 
He told them:

Reader 2 / John:

Do not benefit yourself

by extracting more from people than the law requires.

Do not take advantage of your position
to mistreat anyone, or extort them,

or take anything beyond your salary.

All: Lord, we live and work in a world that is not just.

        But we will treat others as justly as we are able.

Reader 2 / John:
I immerse** you in water.

But someone else is coming—

someone more powerful than me,

someone far greater than me—

who will immerse** you in the Holy Spirit

and in fire.

All:  Lord, immerse** us in your Spirit.

        Transform us, and our world, with your fire.

Allow a few minutes for silent prayer and reflection.

* Alternatives: for the conquering powers; for the Roman occupation

** Alternative: baptize

****************************************

FOCUS MOMENT

Option A uses part of the scriptural passage proposed in the suggested outline for worship. Option B uses a different Book of Mormon selection, one that is more explicitly related to the theme of the third Advent candle: love.

Option A. 3 Nephi 1:13-14

Contemporary language:

I am coming into the world

to show the world

that I will keep every promise

I have made through the prophets.

I am coming into the world I created*

to carry out the plan

I have been revealing to the human family

since the world began.

The work I come into the world to do,

I do as both “Father” and “Son”:

as “Father,” because I am God;

as “Son,” because I am born in a mortal body.

* Or: I am coming to my people

Traditional language:

I come into the world

to show the world

that I will fulfill all that which I have caused to be spoken

by the mouth of my holy prophets.

Behold, I come to my own

to fulfill all things

which I have made known to the children of men

from the foundation of the world

and to do the will

both of the Father and of the Son—

of the Father because of me,

and of the Son because of my flesh.

Option B. Excerpted from 1 Nephi 3:46-65

Contemporary language:

I looked and saw a tree,

more beautiful than anything I could have imagined

and whiter than snow.

I said to the Spirit:

“You have shown me the tree

that is the most precious of all things.”

The Spirit said to me: “What do you want?”

I replied: “To know what the tree means.”

The Spirit said to me, “Look!”

I looked and saw the town of Nazareth,

and in the town, a young woman of marrying age.

The sky opened up,

and a messenger from heaven came down and stood in front of me.

The messenger said to me:

“The young woman you see

is the mother of the Son of God!”*

I looked again, and saw the young woman

carrying a child in her arms.

The messenger said to me:

“Do you understand now the meaning of the tree?”

I replied:

“It stands for God’s love,

which shines in people’s hearts.**

That is why the tree is the most desirable of all things.”

The messenger said:

“Yes—and the thing that brings people the greatest joy!”

* 1830 edition: is the mother of God

** Or: which radiates out into people’s hearts

Traditional language:

I looked and beheld a tree.

The beauty thereof was far beyond all beauty,

and the whiteness thereof exceeded the driven snow.

I said to the Spirit:

“Thou hast shown me the tree which is precious above all.”

He said to me: “What desirest thou?”

I said to him: “To know the interpretation thereof.”

He said to me, “Look!”

I looked and beheld the city of Nazareth,

and in the city, I beheld a virgin.

I saw the heavens open,

and an angel came down and stood before me.

He said to me:

“The virgin whom thou seest

is the mother of the Son of God.”*

I looked and beheld the virgin again,

bearing a child in her arms.

The angel said to me:

“Knowest thou the meaning of the tree?”

I answered him:

“It is the love of God,

which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men;

wherefore it is the most desirable above all things.”

He spoke to me, saying,

“And the most joyous to the soul.”

* 1830 edition: is the mother of God

****************************************

“SECOND WITNESS” SCRIPTURE READING

D&C 108: 5g, 9d-10b

This passage could be read alongside the recommended preaching text from the lectionary, Zephaniah 3:14-20, in the “second witness” style. For an example of that style, see this post. 

Contemporary language:

The Lord,* the Savior,

will stand among his people,

and his rule will extend over all who live.

He will proclaim:

“I have completed the work!

I have established justice among all people!

I alone have done it!

“This was the day my heart longed for:

the day of reckoning for those who wronged my people!

In my outrage, I have leveled them to the ground

like a worker trampling grapes in a winepress,

like a warrior victorious in battle.

“The jubilee year has arrived—

the time appointed for my people to be set free!

They will praise their Lord** for his loving-kindness,

for all that he has done for them in his goodness and love.

They will praise him forever!”

All that they suffered, he suffered with them.

He sent his most trusted angel to rescue them.

In his love and compassion, he freed them.

All through the past, he supported and carried them.

* Alternatives: the Mighty One; the Holy One

** Alternatives: their Ruler; their Defender

Traditional language:

The Lord, even the Savior,

shall stand in the midst of his people,

and shall reign over all flesh.

His voice shall be heard:

I have trodden the winepress alone,

and have brought judgment upon all people;

and none was with me.

“I have trampled them in my fury,

and I did tread upon them in mine anger;

their blood have I sprinkled upon my garments,

and stained all my rainment;

for this was the day of vengeance which was in my heart.

“And now the year of my redeemed is come,

and they shall mention the loving kindness of their Lord,

and all that he has bestowed upon them,

according to his goodness, and according to his loving kindness,

forever and ever.”

In all their afflictions he was afflicted.

And the angel of his presence saved them;

and in his love, and in his pity, he redeemed them,

and bare them, and carried them all the days of old.

****************************************

DISCIPLES’ GENEROUS RESPONSE

Adapted from Philippians 4:4-6

Reader:  At all times, rejoice in the Lord!

               I repeat: Rejoice!

All:         Lord, this world is hard.

               Still, you have given me reasons for joy.

               Pause for prayer and silent reflection.

Reader:  Be gentle to everyone.

               The Lord is close!

All:         Lord, I want to be gentler,

               more loving,

               more generous.

               Pause for prayer and silent reflection.

Reader:  Do not be worried about anything.

               Bring all your needs and concerns to God

               through prayer,

               always giving thanks.

All:         Lord, I bring you my needs and concerns,

               my goals and hopes—

               and my gratitude.

               Pause for prayer and silent reflection.

               Mission tithes are then blessed and received.

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SENDING FORTH

Option A. Adapted from Philippians 4:4-5, 7

At all times, rejoice in the Lord!

I repeat: Rejoice!

The Lord is almost here!

Do not be worried about anything.

In Jesus Christ, you have God’s peace—

a peace beyond all understanding,

a peace that will set your hearts and minds at ease.

Option B. Adapted from D&C 161:7. Alternatively, this responsive reading might be used during the Focus Moment.

Reader: The Spirit of the One we follow

All:         is the spirit of love and peace.

Reader: That Spirit seeks to abide in the hearts

All:         of those who would embrace its call and live its message.

Reader: The path will not always be easy;

All:         the choices will not always be clear.

Reader: But the cause is sure,

All:         and the Spirit will bear witness to the truth.

Reader: And those who live the truth

All:         will know the hope and the joy of discipleship in the community of Christ